the Silent Scream

An excerpt from the autobiographical novel "the Silent Scream"
by Lori Christian
Chapter 7, part 23, Selling My Soul

The day started out like many others. She was awake and dressed by noon and answering the phone by then...The calls came in but no one made a definite appointment...She had enough "speed" to keep her going thru the day so she wasn't very worried when around seven pm rolled around and she still hadn't made any money.

Some regular would call. She always made money, easy money. But the dope ran out and she needed more before the night was through

So by ten that night when she still hadn't made any money from the phone she slid into her jeans and sexy top and headed down the street to the bar. There'd be some trick there even if she had to take a reduced rate. Just enough for some dope for the night and into tomorrow.

It was around three or four in the morning and she was back in her apartment sick! Dope sick!! Every nerve, every fiber of her being cried out for some speed.

She's called her friends but of course they had no money and the dealer wasn't answering the phone anyway.

She needed some dope and she needed it NOW!! By five that morning she was in the corner of the bathroom on the floor with a Bible of all things and crying out to God.

Oh, how hard she prayed. Please dear God help me! Take these feeling away. Over and over again and again she prayed. She even prayed that God would let someone come by with some dope so she would feel better and then she would quit!! She would quit and never touch it again she promised. Empty promises that she'd prayed more than once.

She'd open the Bible and read through her tears and all she'd find was those Old Testament scriptures that made no sense to her. Oh how sick she was. Finally in her sickness she reached out to the only other one that she knew existed with any power.

She called on satan! Yeah, this is true!! She told him that if he would just let her get some dope now he could have her soul. She "prayed" that to him without a second thought a couple of more times.

Suddenly almost audibly she heard an fierce loud laugh!! Someone laughing like they'd heard the funniest joke in the world. It made her look around, was someone there? Was she losing her mind. Again the laugh rang out over again. She made the offer once more and she heard the voice again. Could it be God? It was a voice at the end of a chuckle and it said to her as plain as day "You silly fool of a woman, don't you see I already have your soul!" "You stupid, stupid bitch!!"

© 2008 All rights reserved. Lori Christian